Graphic Novel review: "Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite"

Over the past few years, a lot of writers, actors, musicians, and other celebs have tried their hand at writing comics. Professional writers like Joss Whedon, Jodi Picoult, and Brad Meltzer have generally been successful adapting to the funnybook medium. Even those writers who never really get comfortable in comics can sometimes be interesting.

Then there are the celebrities from other backgrounds.

Thanks to Richard Branson’s deep pockets, Virgin Comics has allowed “writers” like Nick Cage, John Woo, Guy Ritchie, and Jenna Jameson to foist their vanity projects on an unsuspecting world. These are not good. Celebrities are not born with special gifts of creation. That’s true whether they’re freakish comic devotees like Cage – who named his own son Kal-El – or comic book newbies like Scottsdale’s stripper queen Jameson. Being able to act, write movies, direct, or moan on cue does not always translate to the needs of a 22-page, multi-panel script.

Virgin’s not the only offender out there, of course. Every publisher wants to bask in the aura of a big star from outside the world of comics, it seems. Quality often doesn’t matter. I’m pretty sure if Britney Spears wanted to write a run of Batman, Grant Morrison would have competition in the racks. If nothing else, it would sell.

This is all a long-winded way of saying, there are a lot of very bad comics out there and celebrity “writers” are some of the worst offenders.

So when it was first announced that My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way was coming out with a book of his own, it was ignored by the comics cognoscenti. Just another rock star (literally) wanking off (not literally). It would get published, his screaming fans would buy it, and it would get tossed in the bin a few days later to be forgotten forever.

Then Free Comic Book Day 2007 rolled around. Highlighting the Dark Horse offering last year was a stand-alone story from Way, drawn by Gabriel Bá, colored by Dave Stewart, and featuring a gorgeous James Jean cover. The Umbrella Academy was a breath of fresh air.

In July, Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite will be published, collecting “the first six-issue series, as well as out-of-print short stories, and an expanded sketchbook section featuring work by Bá, Jean, and Way.”

I’m impatient, and I have all the floppies, so lemme tell you about this book.

First off, Way created the first original superhero I’ve seen in years. Rumor is a girl whose power is lying. Every lie she tells becomes the truth, no matter how small or large. Teamed up with her adopted super-powered siblings – Spaceboy, The Seance, The Horror, and The Kraken – the Umbrella Academy fights everyone from The Murder Magician to Zombie-Robot Gustave Eiffel. These kids are everywhere.

That’s right, kids.

In the FCBD book, we met the Umbrella Academy as adults, but when book one came out last fall we finally got their origin story. Around the world, 43 children were born simultaneously, to women who had previously shown no signs of pregnancy. Sir Reginald Hargreeves, a.k.a. The Monocle, tracked down and adopted as many of the survivors as he could. He found seven.

Five had powers, one disappeared into the future, and one just plays the violin. Poorly in Hargreeves’ opinion.

This is a different comic than many of you are used to. I’m pretty sure my mention of Zombie-Robot Gustave Eiffel is enough to make that clear. It’s unusual, quirky, and doesn’t take itself too seriously. There’s a very difficult tightrope to walk in superhero comics. If you want to tell a story about people with superpowers, battling monsters and madmen, you can’t be too serious. Do a Google search for “women in refrigerators” or “sue dibny” if you want to see the perils of trying to be too serious. But not taking the characters and situations seriously has its own set of problems. See for example, Schumacher, Joel. Gerard Way walks that tightrope like one of the Flying Wallendas.

I could say so much more about it, but if this picture of Spaceboy doesn’t draw you in, this book’s just not your cup of tea…

Yes. You’ve guessed right. Spaceboy suffered a tragic accident and Hargreeve’s needed to perform highly experimental surgery to save his life. He’s got an ape’s body. And lives on the moon.

R.A.’s rating: 8 out of 10

R.A. Porter is an aspiring television writer who currently toils away in the software mines. He can be found at his personal blog and stalked on Twitter.