Movie Review: The American Mall (2008)

When Mike received a request to preview MTV’s new made-for-TV movie, The American Mall, it’s no surprise that he turned to the one person he knows that loves all things super-cheese and pre-teen.

Yes, I am the same girl who has actually watched the Hilary and Hailey Duff movie (one thing to my credit – I have no recollection of the title of the movie), who not only watches ABC Family’s Greek but has actually checked out the website too… more than once, and the same girl who is still searches for similarities between her husband and Seth Cohen.

So, when he forwarded me the email describing the obvious goodness of The American Mall, it only took a look at some of the cast’s and producer’s bios (including such gems as Veronica Mars, The OC, and of course, High School Musical) for me to say, “Oh yeah, how quickly can they send it”.

If only it had lived up to those predecessors… if only.

So, it is with utter sadness that I have to type this review. I am not going to waste my time, or yours, for an in depth description and/or analysis of this movie. Instead, I am going to share my few insights into this mockery of what we “girls” search for in the musical movie equivalent of caramel apple – all sugary sweet, but under the surface, the possibility for something unexpected.

The main character, Ally, or as I like to call her – Vanessa Hudgens 2, curls and all, is somewhat intriguing, although not completely endearing. Her flame, Rob, or a poor man’s Heath Ledger from 10 Things I Hate About You…, is really sub-par and not simply because of his acting; he is also completely unbelievable as a character. For one, He and his night crew friends have a dream of being a “rock” band, when really a boy band with tween interests is more like it. He has this crush on “VH2″ that he refuses to act on… until, I guess, the cameras roll, then he is all about the moves and singing duets and “have you seen my favorite part of the mall – the roof” nonsense.

Not to mention, the writers desperately wanted to start a new catch phrase for teen America with this doosy… “ummm… backspace“. Translation: “Come again”, “I don’t think so”, “what did you say”, and so on…

All of this cannot and should not be forgotten by the movie-watcher, especially when there are much better interpretations of this newly established genre. High School Musical is widely successful as a movie and a franchise not because it meanders and belittles its audience, but because in its sweetness it reminds all of us in high school (and beyond) what it feels like to be in love and enjoy our friends, and sing and dance in the hallway, gym, science class, wherever. *grin*

One side note on The American Mall, one of my favorite characters of all time from The OC was Taylor Townsend, played expertly in seasons 3 and 4 by Autumn Reeser. Her role in this movie was so over the top and cartoon-ish that even Autumn couldn’t save it. Too bad. I hope she finds better roles in the future.

All I am left with is this one thought – “Ummm…The American Mall… backspace”.

I wish I had that hour and a half back.

Jina’s Rating 4 backspaces out of 10