EPISODE ONE
We begin episode one of Hard Knocks (2008) Training Camp with the Dallas Cowboys with shots of Jason Witten, Tony Romo, and Martellus Bennett leaving their homes and families. Blah, blah, blah. They have more money than you and I do combined so their houses are big and fancy. Yada yada yada… yeah, your families will miss you but not your money.
The players arrive at training camp in Oxnard, CA. Yeah, Oxnard. I know. It’s the most ridiculous name for a city. It was probably named after someone so I’m sorry if I offended the Oxnard family, but yo, seriously… that’s a ridiculous name. Anyway, there’s a pretty funny moment when Terrell Owens, or T.O. as I like to call him (original I know) arrives and a couple of the players are asking what his reporting weight is. So they ask, “2 what? 2 what?” As in two hundred and how many pounds. T.O. calmly replies, “Too sexy.” Good stuff.
Say what you want about Mr. Owens, but the guy just cracks me up. My favorite quote of his is, “I love me some me!” Classic. That being said, T.O. knows how to market himself and has a line of sporting T-shirts that he is selling on his website – TO Tees where you can buy the iLove Me Some Me T-shirt among several others. Check it out! Coming soon: a photo of me lovin’ me some me.
One impressive piece of footage included Adam Jones catching 6 punts without letting go of any of the footballs. Patrick Crayton tries and falls down while trying to catch his fifth. I’m not sure I could hold 6 footballs at one time, much less catch a punt while holding multiple footballs. That’s crazy talent that can never be used in the course of an actual football game. Kind of like my uncanny ability to dance like a white boy. Totally useless skill. It never got me any girls. FYI, Crayton was able to tie Jones with 6 punts caught without dropping a football by the end of the episode.
We also get to meet Keon Lattimore and find out he’s All-Pro Linebacker Ray Lewis’s little brother. That’s really not a big deal to me. I could care less who his brother is. The question is whether or not he can play. So far in this camp, it seems he has been less than impressive. I say he will get cut and not make the team. He would have had absolutely zero impact anyway as a back up to Marion Barber and Felix Jones. The good news is that the Cowboys are upgraded at running back compared to last year. You can definitely quote me on that.
When Felix Jones reported to camp after finally getting his contract “issue” resolved, he quickly got manhandled by a linebacker blitzing in the backfield. The show then cuts to Marion Barber to show his experience in blocking. As you’ll see in the video, Marion Barber takes on a linebacker in a blocking drill and blows him up. Second year linebacker Tyson Smith couldn’t stand up after that hit. Oh snap!
The expectations on the Cowboys are basically Super Bowl or bust. Yet, the past two seasons they have lost the very first playoff game in which they participated. That would normally be a tall order, but the Cowboys return an NFL record 13 Pro-Bowlers. While the ultimate goal is to win the Super Bowl, we learn that only two current Cowboys have Super Bowl rings. Backup quarterback Brad Johnson when he was with Tampa Bay and wide receiver Todd Lowber who was on the New York Giants practice squad last year.
The best part of the show was the rookie hazing. The veterans took bananad and added what looks like two tomatoes and attached them at the base to form a falic symbol microphone. The rookies had to say their name, school, signing bonus, and sing a song. Drew Atchison stole the show, but I don’t want to ruin it so just watch the video below and you’ll be laughing.
Overall, the first episode was very entertaining. I’m excited to see the rest of the episodes and see how they treat the emotions of those that get cut and of those that still have a chance. Stay tuned!
- A big thanks to Awful Announcing for putting together the highlights of this season of Hard Knocks.
Oh how I loathe Jerry Jones
Really? We used to feel that way here in Texas, you know when he fired Tom Landry. But then he went and won some Super Bowls and now all is forgiven. Can't wait to win a few more!
I really enjoyed this show last year when it covered the Chiefs. It's a interesting inside look as to what training camp is all about. I don't know if I care enough (or at all) about the Cowboys being the Cowboys… but if I had HBO, I would still probably check it out.
I have to agree with Jina that CLEARLY, this show would be a billion times more exciting and blow the ratings off the charts if they covered a real true champion team like the mighty Rams!!!! forget the NFL stats that the Cowboys sell 8 fold more NFL gear than second place team, thats got nothing to do with this , right?
Well, that was one of the reasons I liked last year's… was because they picked a less successful team that didn't usually get as much press (at least over the past couple of years that they haven't been as successful – no hating to you Chiefs fans). But the Boys always get press and always get highlighted for their training camp stories, big name hi-profile players, etc.
I like the shirts! I LOVE ME SOME ME!
I didn't know me and T.O. had so much in common. I love me some me too!
I don't know. The Cowboys are intriguing because they do have stars and one of the reasons people will tune in is because of all the other press they get that help make them stars. From a business point of view, the Cowboys were the smartest play.
From a fans point of view, The COWBOYS ROCK!
Definitely! I can't wait until my order comes in
The mighty Rams! LOL… I should have used that. That's way more funnier than any of my jokes.
Who doesn't love them some Jason? I know I do
Yeah… from a business point of view, it totally makes sense. But that's not really why I watched because (you know, because it made sense for HBO or the team). Anyway, let's put our love/lack of love for the Cowboys aside and just be friends again!
What's he done for you lately?
Cowboys suck
Don't be jealous, Mike. Some day Arizona will have a good team too…lol…I couldn't even say that with a straight face.
Well, they won 13 games last year, and had a pretty good draft. I'm not saying I'm ready to bow down to the man, but he's aright.
That was kind of weird. And kind of nice.
Arizona and Championship contender don't exactly roll off the tongue. LOL