Last time you were in town you nearly got her killed. That’s not going to happen again. – Michael Westen

Oh man, oh man. I-I-I don’t think I can do this. Do I have to…what…no. I-I-I really have to go…can I just…why don’t you just…No. No. Okay, okay, okay. It’s okay. Fine. Michael’s going to be late so I’m…do I have to…okay. I’m Jackson and I’ll be going in a minute, I swear. Michael’s going to be right back.

The Recap

Michael and Fiona have a meeting with her friend to ask about the sniper rifle. What? No. He’s an arms dealer. That’s not good. He’s an arms dealer in the middle of a deal with some angry B-B-Bulgarians and he makes Michael be his bodyguard? That’s really not good. At least they make it out in time, even if watching Fiona drive the Saab to shake off that SUV made me a little woozy. It’s okay. They’re okay.

Michael finally does get Seymour to find out about the gun. Some guy named Bill Johnson. He got the gun and had a nightscope and fiberoptic camera installed. I d-d-don’t even know what that stuff is f-f-for. Guns, violence, it’s not my thing.

But that’s not why I’m even here. I don’t know anything about gun. I know about drugs.

Sam’s friend Virgil is back causing t-t-trouble. His old partner’s daughter runs a clinic and she was shipping anti-virals by b-b-boat and it was hijacked by p-p-pirates. Pirates? On the sea? With guns! It was a million dollars worth of drugs and the kids need it. Michael…he he he doesn’t know how to say no. I would have said no. I’d have said no and been o-o-out of there s-s-so fast her head would spin, but Micheal helps. He’s a helper. I’m not a helper. I’m a runner.

Sam pretends he wants to buy the drugs, but the pirate, Gerard, says they’re already sold. Thanks. I-I-I can see myself out. That’s what I’d say. But Sam keeps trying to find out where they are. So he comes up with a plan. I-I-I have to go inside G-G-Gerard’s crew a-a-and pretend to help them steal fake drugs so I can find where they keep the real drugs. And then it all gets worse when they won’t let me go!

Fiona comes to the b-b-bar and I t-t-tell her I’m not leaving until the drugs are stolen, so Sam and Virgil make fake drugs and put them on a yacht in Michael’s fridge. That thing’s old and couldn’t really keep drugs at the right temperature, but they’re fake so I guess…it’s not too much information about the drugs! Do I tell you how to…no…when you write do I tell you how t-t-to do…this is my life, man! I take them seriously. You’ve got to control the environment or…what? Fine. Fine. No. That’s okay, whatever you want. That’s fine. I’ll continue. You can stop yelling now. I’m going.

I have to pretend to shoot Virgil on the yacht, so I hope he can still hold his, his breath. SEALS can hold it a long time, but he’s not young so, so. He’s okay? He’s okay. Good. We got the drugs and Sam and Fiona follow us to the warehouse, b-b-but it’s huge! There’s no way to find all the, all the other drugs.

But that’s okay. I can take care of it.

I come running to Gerard and, and, and demand my money. I’ve gotta get out of town. Gotta get away. Finley! He-he-he robbed the boat for Chuck Finley! Gerard doesn’t g-g-get it, man. He’s never heard of Chuck Finley. That’s because everyone he’s ever worked with i-i-is dead! “If the devil had a name it would be Chuck Finley!”

We go move the drugs. Fiona calls the cops and Sam drives up in a big truck. I-I-I tell them. I tell them! It’s t-t-too late. Chuck Finley’s here. He’s gotta have the back of his truck filled with guys. We’re dead, man. We’re all dead!

But Michael takes out three guys barehanded while Gerard and his lieutenant are shooting the truck up. Then he b-b-blows it up! And takes the van. But he’s gotta drive safe, not just fast! Those drugs can’t slosh around like that, it’s no good for them!

Police arrest the pirates and Michael returns the drugs to Marcela.

Character Counts

Okay, first off? Let me say that as hard as Jackson must have been for Jeffrey Donovan to play, he was a bitch to write above. Sorry if that was sloppier than funny. It’s not easy to write a nebbishy, nervous, high-strung guy. I hope it wasn’t too hard to *read*.

Oh, and second of all…AARRR, MATEY! Pirates!

Tonight was a fun one for many, many reasons. Sometimes, the split nature of the show is problematic. Matt Nix is a movie guy who’s only been doing a TV show for two years. That’s hard to remember sometimes, since he’s created such a good and original show. But because of his background, I think Burn Notice still occasionally struggles mixing the episode-long procedural aspects with its season-long arc. Not tonight.

One thing that helps a lot is the presence of Silas Weir Mitchell, the incredibly talented and very crazy Haywire from Prison Break. The B-story of Michael and Fiona trying to learn about the sniper rifle from last week doesn’t feel as much like an arc story as it does a funny, crazy, and ultimately disturbing scam. Seymour the Arms Dealer is played for humor right up to the end when things turn serious.

That doesn’t happen at all in the A- and very sweet C-stories.

Max Martini plays a straight-up badass, but of the kind Michael would normally dispatch in under a minute. Here, his nerdy drug expert gets to play off him for long stretches and it works great. It doesn’t hurt that Jeffrey Donovan gets the chance to use his dance training to good effect, completely changing his posture, physical mannerisms, and movements to really nail that role tonight. I’ve bitched about a couple of his accents this season and those really did effect the believability of those characters. There was nothing I didn’t believe about Jackson tonight.

(Quick aside: who thinks a nerdy guy named Jackson was an homage to Michael Shanks? I’d bet good money on it.)

There were a few really interesting moments between Fiona and Michael. In particular I liked her reaction to him saying she looked beautiful and the way the camera lingered over her in the opening scene during his narration. He was clearly bothered by her date. Then through the episode we were treated to Fiona’s frustration with Michael for interfering with her dates with her paramedic (I’d ALSO bet good money that the “paramedic” is Victor.)

But the emotional heart of the story was Michael and Madeline tonight. From keeping Virgil and his mother apart to calling her and bringing them together, Michael learned he can love his mother and protect her, or he can love her freely. She’s certainly happier that way.

Chin Bits

Hell, tonight saw Chuck Finley front and center. When Bruce Campbell gets that much to do those are great episodes no matter what.

• “In my line of work you stay in the shadows. So the name Finley is never mentioned.”
• “Look, we got it covered. We’re just trying to find a place to put Mike’s yogurt while we do the job.”
• “You know some guys who can help move a fridge? The cooler doesn’t hold much beer, Mike.”
• “You know mike, if you had to have a stepdad, you could do worse.”

Important Lessons in Spycraft

• If you’re driving a sports coupe off-road and being chased by an off-road vehicle, you might want to get ont he road and do something the lumbering beast can’t do.
• Dealing with an aggressive adversary, sometimes it’s best to show weakness so they drop their guard.
• Playing to preconceptions, like girls can’t drive, can help to distract people.
• Making realistic looking counterfeit drugs is easy. Vials of your favorite beverage and a little compressed gas and it looks like you could lose a finger to frostbite.
• “Dealling with a trained operative is like playing chess with a master. Dealing with a criminal on the other hand is like playing checkers with a three-year old. They like to change the rules.”
• Using a Zodiac to catch a yacht has advantages. it’s fast and can turn on a dime. But it’s bumpy.
• Navy SEALS are trained to hold their breath for 3-5 minutes under water. Retired Navy SEALS…
• Reporting a few minor crimes nearby means that there will be cops in close proximity if you want many of them to arrive on the scene quickly.
• Gas tanks won’t blow up if you shoot them. But if you have a few bags of acetone peroxide taped to the gas tank…
• Anyone who played soccer knows there’s a long nerve running down the shin. Kick it, and you can take your opponent out.
• Gunpowder doesn’t need to be in a bullet to be dangerous. Dispersed in the air, a muzzle flair can burn the whole room.

Parting Thoughts

No episodes for the next two weeks while the USA Network covers the US Open. Then just two more episodes! Okay, so that’s a lot of suckage, even if I’m going to get to watch and enjoy Federer/Nadal/Djokovic/Williams/Williams for a couple of weeks. I would mind less if there were more than two episodes to go before the break. Ugh.

And again: I’m offering to take bets. I say Jackson was an homage to Daniel Jackson, and I say Fiona’s mystery man is Victor. Takers?

What did everyone else think?

R.A. Porter is an aspiring television writer who currently toils away in the software mines. He can be found at his personal blog and stalked on Twitter.

I’m Jimmy Glynn. Mike asked me to talk to you rats about tonight’s episode. There was a wicked awesome monsoon in Phoenix earlier that knocked out satellite coverage, so this is a little later than usual.

The Recap

Mike takes Carla’s crossword puzzle and tracks down his new wrangler, Victor. He looks like a fruit in a flowered shirt, but he pulls a .22 on Mike pretty damn quick. He hands Mike a cellphone and tells him he needs to keep it with him all the time.

Mike knows while he’s working with Victor, things are gonna be dicey for his ma, so he sends Sam to stay with her. When Sam gets there, he thinks some mook’s setting up cameras, but it’s just a friend of the family helping Madeline out with her VCR. A mook who needs help from Mike. That’s where I come in.

The kid, Ricky, is the head accountant at Sweet Valentine, the record label and fashion house owned by a Jay Z/P. Diddy wannabe. Valentine’s financial adviser and original partner stole $2M from a charity account and made it look like Ricky did it. And since Valentine came up from the hood, Ricky figures he’s dead if something don’t give.

Mike breaks in but can’t find proof that Eddie embezzled the money, but he did find prospectuses Eddie’s got. He figures Eddie’s looking for a way to launder the money he stole, so he gets me an intro. I’m a developer from Beantown and I’m happy to take a couple mill from Eddie and wash it clean for him. At least that’s what I tell him.

While I’m trying to get Eddie on my hook, Victor’s getting Mike on his. Tells him there’s a package getting moved soon and they’re gonna steal it. When Valentine goes off on one of his producers and tells Ricky he’s got 48 hours to find the missing cash, I’ve gotta step up the pressure on Eddie. But that’s when Victor shows up and blows my deal, telling Eddie the Feds are swarming all over me.

It takes some persuading, but I convince Eddie the Feds are watching him too. Sam tails him to make him real paranoid, and he comes crawling to me to move his money offshore. But he won’t do it until Ricky’s dead.

He tries once with a hit squad, but I get Fiona over there in Daisy Dukes and a half t-shirt to scare off the goons. Then I push Eddie until he agrees to take a gun and do Ricky himself. That’s all it takes. Sam and Fiona kidnap Valentine, but only to bring him to Ricky’s house to watch and listen. Eddie digs his own grave.

Mike and Victor finally steal their package, and Mike gets an X-ray of it in the trunk of the getaway vehicle. Sometimes I’m just amazed what that guy can do with an old TV and a Taser.

Character Counts

Phew. Sorry about that. For a kid from Amesbury, MA, I wasn’t particularly pleased with Jeffrey Donovan‘s Boston accent tonight. I assume he wanted to hit a note more believable than the usual Southie accent, but I thought he pulled a bit too much Brooklyn into it. I’d have been happier if he’d married a bit more northern New England into the tough guy baritone he chose. That’s just me, though.

Anyway, tonight had some nice Fi and Michael moments, it had one very sweet Madeline and Michael moment, and it added a nice touch with a friend from Michael’s youth. But the fireworks tonight were between Michael and guest star Michael Shanks as Carla’s wrangler, Victor.

I’m a big fan of Shanksy. Comes from the years of watching Stargate: SG1, which is only a mildly embarrassing claim for me. I’ve always thought Shanks could break into network-level stardom with the right opportunity; I think he’s got the right mix of charisma and acting ability. While I don’t think his multi-episode turn on Burn Notice is going to set the world on fire, it might be enough to open that last set of doors. Based on what I saw tonight, it should.

Victor’s just a little bit unstable, isn’t he? Unstable, but not incompetent. I was actually a little surprised he didn’t anticipate Michael’s X-ray stunt, but the writers need to give Michael some chance of figuring out who burned him. Regardless, I’m definitely looking forward to some more opportunities for Victor and Michael to match wits.

Chin Bits

Madeline: “He insisted on coming to aqua aerobics with me.”
Michael: “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

Wow. Tonight was a treasure trove for Bruce Campbell fans, wasn’t it?

• “I do a perimeter check once an hour. I just say that I need some alone time to ponder the whole Veronica thing. Works like a charm.
• “I’m hiphoppin now, man! Look at me!
• “I’ve got an appointment to look at a townhouse. Looks right into a yoga studio.”

Sam: “You’re what’s wrong with our country, pal. Oohah oohah oohah. What’s going on there?”
Valentine: “Wait a minute. First of all, what do you listen to, oldtimer?”
Sam: “Barbara Mandrell. Nothing wrong with that. Kenny G. Captain and Tenille.”
Valentine: “Whoa. That’s like too gangster for me right there, man.”
Sam: “I got something for you right here. A melody?”

Important Lessons in Spycraft

• When meeting a covert op first time, a map and photo means they trust you. A place and time means they want to check you out. A cryptic clue just means they have an irritating sense of humor.
• It can pay off when meeting an operative to open with an aggressive move.
• If you use an enhanced GPS on a cellphone you can track them anywhere.
• A fire alarm is useless for clearing a building. A bomb threat in the building next door is better.
• Modern bomb squads come equipped with RF jammers. They’ll kill all radio transmissions nearby, including wireless security cameras.
• Interior locks in offices are lowtech; file cabinet locking bars are more serious, but people have too much faith in padlocks.
• Air ducts are only 18 inches wide, so they’re useless for escape. Better to use the sub-ceiling.
• Sometimes you have to lose a fight intentionally. Seeing an opening and passing on it is the hardest thing in the world.
• 12 gauge incendiary rounds create a small explosion at 3000 degrees. They can burn tires nicely.

Parting Thoughts

A solid episode with a couple things going for it. The new and improved Madeline is a character I actually enjoy seeing this year. Her interactions with Michael and Sam were believable and touching tonight. In addition, again let me praise Michael Shanks.

My one complaint would be that Matt Nix seems to be almost reflexively killing off Michael’s targets this year. It hasn’t been every episode, but we’re running at about an 80% kill rate right now.

What did everyone else think?

R.A. Porter is an aspiring television writer who currently toils away in the software mines. He can be found at his personal blog and stalked on Twitter.

The Recap

Michael and Fiona continue to surveil the mail drop where Carla’s post office box is located. A long, boring process with which I am happy not to be involved. An older woman collects the mail and Michael follows her to a nondescript building with no visible security. Ordering a pizza, Michael has the delivery driver behave erratically to explore a theory. The building is watched by a covert team. Later that evening, Michael mounts a webcam on a nearby building to monitor the comings and goings of the security team.

When Michael arrives back at his loft, he is accosted by Trevor, an expediter, recently out of prison. While incarcerated, he encountered a criminal whose complex organization was brought down by Michael’s actions. When Trevor was approached by a former colleague of his to perform another job, Trevor balked. He’d made a promise to his son to live his life cleanly, but Timo would have none of that.

Timo’s team consists of

• CJ: The Hustler
• Gilbert: The Safecracker
• Kandi: The Muscle
• Trevor: The Expediter

Picking the weakest link, Sam and Fiona contrive to have Gilbert arrested for violating his probation. Unfortunatlely, this is not enough to force Timo to cancel his plans, so Michael has Trevor introduce me to Timo.

A bit too much of a control freak, Timo’s first interaction with me is to force me to open a safe in a liquor store – a liquor store! – to demonstrate my credentials. I have not been so insulted in a very long time, but in order to cement my position on the team, I open the little piggy bank. Child’s play.

At Timo’s boathouse, I’m given a cellphone and told to answer by the third ring no matter when it rings. I’m then told I’ll have 19 minutes to crack a safe – Madison, AK Series Class 2, Ilco 693 lock – but given no other information until I very calmly explain to Timo I’ll need to know what countermeasures were installed. Those change yearly, so Timo’s forced to tell me when the safe was installed. The safe was installed two years earlier.

Armed with the model and year of installation, Sam locates the safe in question at the jewelry exchange, but warning the owners of the upcoming robbery is out of the question: CJ is working on the inside.

Suffice it to say the robbery does not go according to Timo’s careful plans. Thanks to Sam cutting a phone line outside, causing the building alarm to go off, I don’t have the time to finish opening the safe. We separate and get to the cars Trevor has placed at our scatter points, but Sam has bled the air from Timo’s tires. Unable to join us at the boat house, it is a simple matter for me to tell the others that I did crack the safe and gave Timo the money, immediately followed by Fiona blowing up the boat house. Kandi takes care of Timo for us, leaving Trevor free from his clutches.

Taking another run at Carla’s office, Michael discovers it’s too late. Carla has emptied it of everything but a photograph of Michael outside the building, a bottle of champagne, some balloons, and a crossword puzzle. His lead: dried up.

Character Counts

The first episode of the season with neither Nate nor Madeline, this one still managed to give us a good look at the psychic scars Michael’s got left from his childhood. Trevor works him hard, begging for his help, but Michael remains unmoved. Right up until Trevor tells him his son was born while he was in prison and he promised his son to stay on the straight and narrow. Jeffrey Donovan visible melts a bit at that and Michael quickly agrees to help. Some nicely delivered backstory without once mentioning Michael’s father.

Sam and Veronica…well. Alright, a quick aside. I was convinced last year that Veronica had taken over from Jason Bly once Michael had shaken him loose. The timing of the start of her relationship with Sam, the Cadillac with OnStar (those microphones are on all the time,) and the fact that she was being played by ’70s/’80s pinup girl Audrey Landers seemed like obvious signs to me, but Matt Nix went another way. (Yes, I had a crush on Audrey and her sister Judy. And can you blame me? Look at those shorts!)

So anyway, we see Veronica for the first time in many episodes in a really cute scene where she proposes to Sam. And he hems and haws. Only later do we discover why. He’s already married. I sense an episode soon with Sam’s wife!

What we end up with tonight, instead, is an Odd Couple moment where Sam shows up with his bags at Michael’s door. The only difference in this case, is it’s the slob moving in with the neat freak and not the other way around.

Another thing we haven’t seen in a while is any sexual tension between Michael and Fiona. Their tortured relationship has been a source of more emo than heat for a few weeks, so it was nice to see some very aggressive flirting from Fi during Michael’s cram session with the safes:

• “The last one’s always the same. C4. It’s always easier to just…blow it.”
• “I won’t deny that I prefer…a powertool.”

Chin Bits

Lots of good stuff tonight, thanks to the marital and pre-marital woes of Sam Axe.

• “Ooh, ooh, ooh. Look at that. That looks good.” Followed by stealing Michael’s smoothie.
• Reviewing Kandi’s (Robin Givens) rap sheet, Sam gleefully observes, “Her and Fiona would have a good time, or kill each other.”
• In response to Veronica’s proposal: “How ’bout that, huh? There’s a question.”
• “I’m trying to come up with a gift. Something that says, I love you but I can’t marry you. And not too expensive.”

Important Lessons in Spycraft

• Surveillance is best in shifts because it’s boring and exhausting.
• Trailing a trained operative requires a lot of preparation, such as knowing all the local traffic patterns.
• If you can’t stop a door alarm, you can make it look innocent by planting cigarette butts.
• Instead of a team of agents, a webcam and signal booster can be effective. The camera should be properly mounted, but when time is an issue, dental putty sets fast and hard.
• Being invisible is “often just a matter of quick thinking, fast feet, and strong fingers.”
• A criminal cover id requires fitting in to the criminal hierarchy:
  • Bank robbers are the rock stars
  • Con artists are the snobs
  • Car theives are the blue collar guys
  • Safe crackers are the artists
• In the armed robbery business, make a bad referral and you might get killed.

Parting Thoughts

Michael really took Trevor’s case personally. Very personally.

You know what your boy needs more than a promise? He needs his dad. Let me handle this. And when I’m done, you’ll never have to worry about Timo again. Trust me.

Now I want to know what specific promise Michael’s father failed to keep. It clearly cut deep.

Next week, one of my favorite actors makes the first of his several appearances as Victor, another burned spy in Carla’s stable. Michael Shanks will have a four episode arc as a character Matt Nix has described as “what Michael would be if Michael had rabies.” I’m looking forward to seeing how his appearance disrupts the status quo, and I’m looking forward to seeing if my theory that he and Fiona will become romantically involved pans out.

What did everyone else think?

R.A. Porter is an aspiring television writer who currently toils away in the software mines. He can be found at his personal blog and stalked on Twitter.

Sergei Yablonovic. I am a friend of your Michael Westen and won’t tell you anything. They have beaten me, but I have told them nothing. But you, you all have the faces of traitors! What did you tell them?!

The Recap

I apologize. Michael’s brother Nate tells me I should speak to you after all.

Reading through the file Michael received from his Pakistani friend, he discovers Carla’s cover in Kurdistan was as an irrigation consultant. He assumes she might be using the same cover in Miami and sends Sam to investigate. Sam spends $1300 wining and dining Harvey Gunderson until he finally waves a badge and says he’s with the DEA. One quick threat to call the USDA and have Harvey kicked out of his cushy positions and a list of names of irrigation experts in Florida is handed over. That gives Michael a P.O. Box.

Meanwhile, Michael becomes involved in more pressing matters. His brother Nate returns from Fort Lauderdale and brings his brother in on a job, rescuing a kidnapped Ukrainian girl from human smugglers. The girl’s sister Katya needs the help before she gets herself killed attacking the gangster, Ivan, again.

However, in order to find the girls Michael and Sam must coerce information from Ivan. That’s where I come in. With only three days to discover where the traffickers keep the girls before they are killed, Sam realizes he will not break Ivan quickly enough. So I am asked to go inside as another prisoner to gain Ivan’s trust. I do that the only way I know how: by fighting.

The first snippet of information I manage to get from Ivan tells us where to find Takarov, who runs all operations in Florida. Fiona and Sam discover that the top floor of Romanov’s, which serves an excellent borscht, is heat shielded, so they arrange for Fiona to sneak in. Unfortunately, it is only a software pirating operation. So we step up the pressure on Ivan.

I convince him we need to escape and try to warn Takarov. I crack a few of Nate’s ribs, pretend to kill him and Sam, and drive off with Ivan. We go to the safe house and I send Ivan along to tell Takarov the girls have been safely moved. Then Fiona, Sam, and I free the girls. Ivan did not live long enough to enjoy his new freedom.

Character Counts

Tonight saw the return of Nate Westen, played by Seth Peterson. Seth had originally read for the role of Michael and impressed Matt Nix, but didn’t quite fit what he was looking for in his burned spy. He did strike Nix as the perfect annoying little brother, though, and this role was created for him.

That said, I’ve got to be honest; until last year’s season finale, I could not stand Nate. Then it finally hit me that he was playing his role perfectly. I was supposed to be annoyed by him. On re-watching the first season, I really appreciated his performance a lot more.

Tonight we get some nice small moments between, and about, the relationship between the brothers. Nate’s got incredible respect for his brother, even if he doesn’t always like him and Michael finally sees how his own actions and behavior impact his brother, even if it does take a little prompting from Madeline. Seems Nate didn’t really get into big trouble until big brother left home.

The growth between these two, slow and in spurts, feels natural and it’s a pleasure to watch.

Chin Bits

As much fun as Sam had this episode, he didn’t have a whole lot of killer lines. He was central to both stories, abusing his liver with Harvey Gunderson and running the interrogation of Ivan, so I suspect Nix and episode co-writer Jason Ning felt they didn’t need to give The Chin any zingers. I’d tend to agree. The glint in Bruce Campbell‘s eyes at the entire notion of interrogating someone was more than enough for me. He looked like a kid in a candy store.

That said, we did get one awesome exchange where The Chin was the butt of the zinger. After causing a scene in Romanov’s so Fiona could slip upstairs, she got him out of the Russian goon’s grip with elan:

Fiona: Take your hands off my father! He has dementia! Do you understand? Can’t you see his mind is gone? He doesn’t even know what he’s saying…
Sam: Daddy?
Fiona: Bet you never thought you’d hear me call you that.

Important Lessons in Spycraft

• Jobs in agriculture make convenient covers. The downside is you might have to become a chick pea expert
• You can tell a lot about a tail by the moves they use
• Torture’s like getting groceries with a flame thrower. Getting information is about creating a new reality
• No makeup can simulate blood and bruises up close
• The way a person fights can tell you a lot about where they’re from
• One of the hardest things to do in a fight is make it look like you’re trying to kill someone without doing permanent damage

Parting Thoughts

Ah, Harvey Gunderson. Let’s review his titles, shall we?

• Secretary/Treasurer Agricultural Association of South Florida
• President Miami Water Resources Board
• Vice President Board of Soil Scientists

The always brilliant Larry Miller guests as the perfect foil for Sam. But I’m actually a little saddened by this, now that I have time to think about it. There’s just no reason to bring Harvey Gunderson back on the show. That means, no more Larry Miller. Damn.

A good, solid episode that pushed forward on all fronts: Michael got more information on Carla, even if it is just a location to stake out; Michael and Nate had their bonding moment; and Sam gave Fi a nice compliment when he suggested she extract Ivan by herself. Plus, Fi tasered herself to take out Ivan. That’s hardcore.

What did everyone else think?

R.A. Porter is an aspiring television writer who currently toils away in the software mines. He can be found at his personal blog and stalked on Twitter.

My buddy Michael Westen is busy in therapy or something this week, so he gave me this job. I’ll do what I can, but you know, “little out of my league. I’m good with papers not with computers. I think this is a computer thing, right?”

The Recap

That broad Carla left him a message in a crossword puzzle to meet at some mall. He shows up and she gives him a job. She needs this security badge duped and only one guy in town can do it. Nice guy, even if he don’t want to do whatchamacallit, barter, for the job. Takes him a couple of days to do it right, which leaves Mikey time to help out some other chick.

Lady DEA agent in way deep is getting stalked by some big honcho with the Cartel. Me, I like to stay far away from those guys. Guns give me the creeps. But Mikey helps her out. They make it look like this guy’s trying to kill his boss, and then the mook runs to the DEA for protection. He gets the shock of his life when he finds out he’s been hittin’ on the lady DEA agent for years, though.

When Mikey’s not helping her out, he’s seein’ a head shrinker with his mom. But she don’t like that any more than he does. Even if the lady looks just like her.

But she does like the new coffeemaker Carla got her.

When I go pick up the badge – that Nefzi guy does real pretty work – I pay him a little extra ’cause Mikey wants to know what building it goes to. But Carla’s too quick. I run back in, but it’s too late. He’s dead.

Character Counts

Phew. That white track suit was hot. Didn’t breathe at all. Glad to be out of it. Tonight on Burn Notice, the heavy relationship lifting was all about Michael and Madeline. Of course there’s the new coffeemaker, conveniently left in Madeline’s house in the middle of the night by Carla or one of her goons. That’s a bit of a scare for Micheal.

More significantly, Madeline drags Michael to counseling. We get a great sight gag and reaction shot from Jeffrey Donovan as the camera reveals the counselor with hair of gold, just like Sharon Gless. It’s a funny moment, but it’s also a telling moment.

Madeline is seeking confirmation and help in getting her reticent son to open up, but when the tables are turned – really, just the therapist being fair and consistent – she quickly reconsiders the quality of care she’s getting. Michael’s mother is less interested in repairing rifts than regaining and retaining a mythical ideal of family. Her sons are still her little boys and she’s never been able to relate to them as adults, partly because their childhoods were cut short by circumstance.

When Michael comes to pick up his mother for their second session, she tells him she’d rather find someone else, “someone who asks better questions.” Michael reaches out, offering to spend time with Madeline. Standing side by side with arms crossed, postures fully guarded, Madeline gives Michael the answer to the question he’d asked in therapy: why she didn’t ask his nine-year-old self about a black eye he got stealing groceries for the family. She was proud. And thought Michael looked proud. She let him have his lie, that he’d bought the groceries, thinking that’s what he wanted, when in fact all the little boy wanted was his mother’s attention.

It’s a great scene, and the very small smile on Donovan’s face says all we need to know about how Michael Westen feels.

Chin Bits

Honestly, this wasn’t a great episode for Sam or Fiona. They’re pushed mostly to the background, only getting a couple of scenes each. Of course they shine even in support.

• “When I’m on a job, it turns her on. It’s all I can do to keep up. The things this woman does. I’m trying to get some too.”
• “Mike, look. I did a little pre-scouting but…I knew he was packing. I didn’t know he had a Mac-10. I thought it was like a regular gun.”
• “I’m starving anyway!” (Particularly funny as Sam’s scarfing chips as he says this.)
• “Well, Sammy will take whatever reward you want to give him, baby!”

Important Lessons in Spycraft

• “If an operative hands you a crossword puzzle, chances are you just received a coded message.”
• Nail polish remover dissolves ink. A nice way to counterfeit some checks by washing.
• A great way to meet a thief is to pretend to be in the same business.
• “People trust you when they have something on you…It’s all about making them feel secure.”
• “People don’t trust information they get for free. If you want to sell someone on a lie, you have to make them drag it out of you.”
• Experienced operatives play their roles harder under pressure.
• The best way to distract men is not with a beautiful woman. They want her to stay around. But they want to get rid of obnoxious guys. That’s of course why Sam is always handy to have around.
• “The trick to selling an assassination attempt is to use a lot more firepower. And an explosion or two.”
• “If you walk in on a corpse and can’t catch your breath…someone might be pumping nitrogen gas into the room to displace all the oxygen.”

Parting Thoughts

We got some interesting tidbits on the long arc tonight. Michael *believes* that Carla speaks Arabic with a Kurdish accent. It’s not much to go on, but is a start. Of course, that’s going to be moot if she faked the accent. Michael knows those who burned him want to keep him around for the long haul. He’s refused their blood money, but he’s going to keep doing their dirty work until he can get some answers. He is a de facto employee at this point, and worried about the safety of his friends and family. Carla’s made it clear she can get to anyone of them at any time.

What’s she going to leave Madeline next time? A toaster?

I was moved a lot by the way Michael and Madeline interacted tonight. One of the rare times they stopped talking past each other and connecting, the kitchen scene at the end of the evening packed a lot of punch. That’s two episodes running with really strong character work. Actually, it’s more than two if we count last season’s finale.

The show’s firing on all cylinders, giving us good action, good intrigue, clever banter, and heart. It’s a shame the Emmy committee couldn’t find a place for this gem of a show.

What did everyone else think?

R.A. Porter is an aspiring television writer who currently toils away in the software mines. He can be found at his personal blog and stalked on Twitter.

The Recap

When Mike gets out of the lorry, he finds himself in the middle of a war zone. That bird Carla – the one who works for the wankers who burned him – gives him a job: make this poor sap Jimmy do what they want. Take him back to Miami and help him steal data from a low-rent Blackwater and the bloke can save his wife and kid. Plus Mike gets to meet Carla.

Mike gets to keep a copy of the data too. Figures it might help him suss out who burned him.

I come in the game when Mike needs someone on the inside. I meet the chief mercenary, Ryder Stahl. He says he’s just in security, but the chyron says different. Trust the chyron. This bastard doesn’t believe me, so he has me escorted out. I end up having to shoot at my mates Sam and Fiona to earn his trust. Fi proves her mettle by shooting to miss me. Close. Really close. I think she’s upset about something Mike’s done.

In the end, Ryder’s set up to the ATF, Jimmy’s death is faked, and Mike gets a copy of the data.

Character Counts

Burn Notice is fun and light-hearted, but it’s actually less about the bombs and bullets, mysteries and scams than it is about the characters. The relationships Michael has are what ground this show. A man who spent his whole life escaping ties and commitments turns out to have four very significant ones. His two best and only friends in the world, Fiona and Sam, and his mother and brother Nate keep Michael grounded. He might hate Miami, and might wish his mother would stop calling, but he loves these people and would do (almost) anything for them.

That “almost”, of course, is where the drama lies.

Michael’s mother Madeline (Sharon Gless) is still stressing over the men with guns. With the score silent, Michael tells her this is why he never came home, to protect her. It’s a small moment. A touching moment. A moment quickly broken when Madeline tells him he could have written. The score kicks back up, a bit jauntier than usual as they cut to Fi playing with explosives.

That was one of the quickest, most abrupt, and funniest tonal shifts I’ve ever seen and it was pulled off with aplomb. Of the many things creator Matt Nix does well, this is the best. It is also why the show will never get award-love: no one knows how to classify it. Sometimes it’s a comedy and sometimes a drama and rarely is there time to pause between the extremes.

On the drama front, the next-to-last scene between Fiona and Michael, when Fi finally realizes she and Michael can’t be together, is beautiful to watch. Gabrielle Anwar, usually tough as nails, finds some heartbreaking vulnerability here. What’s truly sad about the scene though is Jeffrey Donovan‘s narration.

When you work as a spy, it’s easy to think of people as assets, resources to accomplish a goal. Because you don’t have a personal relationship with an asset. You don’t care about an asset. You don’t miss the scent of an asset when she leaves the room.

Chin Bits

Ain’t nobody better than Bruce Campbell, and this is where we take a quick gander at some of his best bits of the night.

• Wearing one of Michael’s shirts and looking silly: “Mike, How do you fit in these little shirts? They’re like doll clothes.”
• “I can count on one hand the number of buddies I got who would stage an armed assault to save my butt. You got Mike, you got…”
• “I got lots of other friends with ovaries. I got you…”

Important Lessons in Spycraft

For some of us – particularly British? South African? businessmen with accents that meander from the streets of London to the north, down to Capetown and over to the antipodes when we miss a glottal stop or two – the most important part of this show is Michael’s lessons in spycraft. We didn’t learn how to make any explosives tonight, but we still had a few good lessons.

• Airbags make evasive manuevers tough. But you still drive backwards.
• “It takes a great marksman to miss, while making it look like they’re trying to hit you. Or markswoman as the case may be.”
• “A great way to get people talking about their security is to put them on the defensive.”
• “Counting your steps can be extremely useful if you need to reproduce a floor plan from memory.”
• “The typical floor is concrete slab over 20-gauge steel pan with steel trusses spaced 30 inches for support. When you cut through a floor the thing you have to worry about is wiring…If you don’t want a chunk of concrete crashing through to the floor below, you need to drill a hole and anchor the slab.”
• And always remember the most important tool: eye gear. You can also learn that lesson from Norm Abrams on The New Yankee Workshop.
• Motion detectors bounce sound waves and analyze changes. Move slowly and use a wool comforter. A thermal blanket will make you invisible to a heat sensor.
• Quadrangle buckshot is best for destroying the inside of a computer…
• Frag-12 is better for hardened security glass.

Parting Thoughts

I haven’t mentioned the beautiful and talented Tricia Helfer. There’s a few reasons for that, but primarily it was because there was a big-ass monsoon tonight. MikeO is up north and missed this one, but I didn’t. Neither did my satellite dish. On the 7pm showing I got everything but the tag at the end. But Pop Critic #1 filled me in (and I recorded the 10pm showing as well.) Beets. Huh. Interesting. I mean, coming from the Battlestar Galactica girl. That Bruce Campbell sure is a teddybear of a man, too.

That’s right. Matt Nix tossed in a massive, awesome, NBC-Universal pop culture joke and I love him and this show for doing it. I also quite liked the Gabrielle Anwar Scent of a Woman reference. Maybe it was unintentional, but I doubt it.

What did everyone else think?

R.A. Porter is an aspiring television writer who currently toils away in the software mines. He can be found at his personal blog and stalked on Twitter.