(My reviews tend to contain mild spoilers.  While I don’t really think I am capable of ruining this, proceed with caution.)

I refuse to believe that M. Night Shyamalan isn’t capable of making another great movie.  Unfortunately, his last two films have made that extremely difficult.

Some say that he stopped making good movies when he came out with Signs, but that’s my favsies (I’ll explain why if you’re interested), and The Village actually comes in close second.  But Lady in the Water was an abysmal failure (did anyone really get it?), and I’m sorry to say that The Happening is no better.

I just don’t see how movies like this get made.  Obviously there is more than one person reading the script.  Didn’t someone, somewhere down the line say, “uhmm…. is that it?”

You know the story if you’ve read any review or synopsis:  the plants of Earth somehow start releasing a toxin that causes humans to commit violent suicide.

That’s it.

There’s no characters to get involved with, no major turning point, no rising action, no lessons learned, not even an iota of suspense (unless rustling trees in broad daylight are supposed to be suspenseful).  And you know I mean it because I have never used the word ‘iota.’

It’s not that there aren’t any characters.  It’s just that they are horrendous (there’s another word I’ve never used).  They are so one-dimensional, that every single line spoken in the movie could be spoken by anyone and it would have made just as much sense. Zoey Deschanel’s character might have a bit of depth, and there is an army Private that shows up half way though that could have been developed a lot more, but that’s it.

And then there’s the overall message, the “metaphor” that is drilled into your head from the very beginning.  “Global warming is killing us all,” “the planet will start to fight back if we don’t stop,” yada yada yada.

About half way through there’s a sign for a housing development with the banner “You Deserve This!”  Three quarters of the way through a strange woman is introduced, who refuses to listen to the warnings that something major is happening (sound familiar?) but is ultimately just as vulnerable as everyone else.  I thought M. might do something risky or supernatural with this woman, but he never does.

His next project is a live action adaptation of “Avatar, the Last Air-bender,” and I think that’ll do some good, getting away from his own stuff and collaborating with a new team.  He may even find a composer who, ya know… actually composes something.  (Nothing against James Newton Howard, because he’s normally great, but I didn’t even hear any music until the end, and even then I can’t tell you what the tune was.  There definitely wasn’t a theme.)

I still believe M. Night is capable of connecting with the average person on a basic human level like none other.  When he exploits that basic level with ghosts, monsters, and aliens, it’s great.  When he exploits it with concepts of faith, coincidence, fate and destiny, that’s even better.  When he mixes the two, that’s just the tops (iota, horrendous, the tops.  I’m on a roll.)

But unfortunately, this film does none of the above.

(Adam is a guest writer here at Pop Critics from time to time, you can follow him on his Tumblr blog, The Principia Adamaca)

The Happening opens in the US on Friday, June 13, 2008.

By now you may have seen the Red Band Trailer we put up that shows a little more of the gore factor. I think it actually looks like it could be good although early reviews haven’t been that great.

I really liked the first, American version of the poster for the film, but this international version has something going for it too. It’s maybe not as immediately eye catching, but all the bodies laying around our two heroes certainly brings the scare factor into play. What do you think?

The taglines on it read:

“We’ve sensed it, We’ve seen the signs, Now…it’s Happening.”

Obvious to any M. Night fan as references to his big two, The Sixth Sense and Signs. Check out the poster:

The plot for the movie reads as follows:

A paranoid thriller about a family on the run from a natural crisis that presents a large-scale threat to humanity.

Awesome. Sounds like my kind of movie. It’s also going to star Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel and John Leguizamo.

So I love the idea of incorporating older movies into a poster for the next chapter in M. Night’s career. If anyone can do this kind of thing, it’s him.

An interesting tidbit however, that the Movie Poster Addict discovered today. Check out the poster for “Signs” below…look at the tagline under Mel Gibson’s name…what does it say?

“It’s happening.”

Spooky.

And I already can’t wait to see it, yet my patience will have to hold until June of 2008.